Rising Above The Pain

  To those who are familiar with the blog it was titled Ramblings and Reviews. As I write this
 April 16,2020 so much has changed as you can see my last post was in 2017. In these past three year's my life has changed so much and in those changes I lost my passion to write, to journal and to even be free to be ALL I know who I am to be as a child of GOD.

I can easily go back to bring you on this journey to where I am now, but it is not necessary, what I need to share is where I am now and the journey I am ahead. In this last year I have experienced heartache, pain, betrayal, loss of who I thought were friend's BUT I have also found peace, understanding of who I am and just how strong I am.

In this last year there have been changes and much growth. You see after 21 year's of marriage I am divorced, I am now the Chief of the service my husband and I use to run together. My passion to write and read as I use to has been reignited. I have also found that indeed strength, survival to adapt to change is possible when you trust that with GOD as HE has proven time and time again is possible.

As I begin to write again, I will be candid and I will be transparent about this new journey I am on. I am surely not the woman I was a year ago. I am thankful for all I have been through, it is yet another stone GOD has placed in my garden of life as a reminder that I am not defined by what has happened in my life, I am defined by who GOD says I am.

I am the daughter of the KING, I am fearless, I am strong, I am a warrior, I am free to be completely me...Thank you LORD!!!

Daughter of the KING,
Tina

When you don't know what to say..

The year 2016 was a year of ups, downs, friendship loss and heartache for me, therefore keeping me silent to share. I barely even journaled. You see there comes a time when you don't know what to say, or even not wanting to say anything, But GOD. When we are silent HE still hears, HE knows...the beauty of being so quiet is there is healing, that is when our spirit is open to receive what the HOLY SPIRIT maybe saying to us.
I am thankful for the words not spoken, in the healing I received because it was in that time that I heard the LORD speak to me, about all the pain, the loss and that it was showing me the changes I need to make in my life, especially in relationships.
I have learned that healthy boundaries are good, there will be those who come and go, those who will be close to you till we get home to GLORY and after but each leave their own unique memory. I miss those that are no longer in my life and though the loss of friendship was hurtful I am thankful non the less to have had them in my life.

As I write this tonight February 9, 17 I am on a journey of self discovery doing things that I love to do things I just have not ventured into in a while, one of them is writing again, I am writing my story of GOD'S amazing grace and love and setting me free...When I came to accept HIM I was so broken, BUT Praise GOD ...I am no longer captive. This new year is a new path in the garden of life for me and I plan to live to the up most fullest, come what may I plan to be all I can be for the GLORY of GOD, and also having more fun while doing it.

Letting go completely of what is behind and embracing what journey is ahead, because with GOD all things are possible and I am a child of GOD with many ahead!!

Stay tuned for this is just the beginning of more  ramblings and yes more reviews!!!

Love and blessings,
Tina

LIFE

Good morning on this 17th day of August! It has been some time since I have shared anything and though this may not be read but anyone and then again it may be read by many this will be a a rambling for sure.
My last post was in February...Life has been busy, new opportunities, lost opportunities..friends lost, daily stresses of life...BUT always staying faithful because that is all I know. I know that MY FATHER will come through, because HE always does.
This morning I had a very hard time waking up and I haven't been feeling well and I am worried about my husband who has been going through so much physically 3 years ago he injured his back and has seen doctor after doctor and no answers and no conclusions as to what has been going on. We recently just found out his back is fine and that through the findings of an Ultrasound he found out he has a Peiumbilical Hernia....so Praise...we have an answer...with knowing this brings peace, but now financially we have not met our deductable so we need to pay out of pocket...and that is money we don't have. 

I believe that GOD will provide because HE always does, believing and standing on all HIS promises, I see my husband who is not feeling encouraged and is truly beyond a place of being encouraged and I understand that, and it breaks my heart because I don't like seeing him hurt physically, emotionally and spiritually but all I can do is pray and trust and continue to be there for him.

 August 8th marked the 3 year anniversary since my Hysterectomy and WOW...3 years..to say be overjoyed over this is a complete under statement....My life was given back to me and I don't take it for granted..each day is a new day that I don't suffer, I am no longer home bound due to years of hemorraging saved from Uterine cancer...I am able to be free to be me finally and I am so THANKFUL!! 

Life certainly isn't easy but when your a child of GOD...it makes each day brighter...because at the end of the day no matter how I failed, no matter how in the flesh I was in ...That I did not walk in the fruit of the Spirit...I can go before the the throne of grace and seek my Father's face and repent of my sin's and HE is faithful and just to forgive me. 

Today well its a new day and though it started very emotional as I sit here and ramble, the blue cloud is lifting and this day as of right now...has started.

Be blessed my friends, remember we walk by faith, not by sight!! 
Tina  

Seeking GOD

                 Since before the end of 2015 I have been on a journey of studying, seeking THE WORD. What I realized as the new year approached I wanted a deeper,spirit filled life,one full of ALL GOD had for me. I prayed and waited to be led in the right direction...and it just so happened I was organizing my books and I found A Hunger For GOD...by John Piper. It is not very long but wow it is powerful and stirred a fire in me for more. 
Next I was led to read the The Spirit Filled Life by Charles Stanley...I have more page markers in this book then any other I have read and let me tell you why. This book is filled with so much on  Holy Spirit, it was also a right now word for me as I continue on this journey of seeking and hungering for more of GOD.
I have read two books in this journey so far and In The Spirit Filled Life Charles Stanley recommended reading R.A. The HOLY SPIRIT Who HE is and What HE Does, I got it and I am still reading that one along with another book The Gifts of the Spirit by Derek Prince.
Last night I started Jesus  90 Days With The One and Only....I have loved the LORD for over 20 years now and I can tell you I am truly fully 100% in love with ALL 3, FATHER,SON and HOLY SPIRIT!

If it was not for GOD giving us JESUS...we would not have the HOLY SPIRIT....as I am reading and studying the WORD ....the TRINITY defines the importance of why a relationship with ALL three are so important...with that knowledge the WORD becomes even more alive, we have been given the greatest honor as the children of GOD to have an amazing, loving FATHER and HE ask nothing of us but gives us free will to choose if we will accept HIM. 

I don't write this to boast but simply to share I LOVE the TRINITY, and I am excited to see where my journey will lead and all GOD will reveal to me.
Matthew 7:7 -8
"Ask, and it will be given to you;seek and you will find;knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who ask receives, and he who seeks finds and to him who knocks it will be opened.

I am a daughter of the KING, and I love HIM!!! 
Tina

 

                          

Breast Cancer Awareness

      Recently I just went for my first Mammogram.. Staying faithful and knowing everything will be ok. I waited for the results The call came when I was doing my favorite thing looking for books! All I heard was redo, density, your nest appointment will be in 2 weeks.
My heart starts beating and I am asking, What does Density mean? Should I be worried? No, the nurse says! I was fine with the possible call back to redo the test, I however was not with the terms that were used. Now I wait, one day, two days, a week and another week. Tuesday October 27th,15 arrives...reminding my self its going to be ok, no problem I have been through so much this is just another trial to make me stronger.

Ms. Ross, I stand and head back. Taken into the room to change and secure my purse and clothes..I wait to be called. Vicky calls me into her office. She asked for me to sit down. She tells me that they called me back to recheck my left breast, as she saying this... To myself I am starting to feel a strong wave of anxiety start to rise... I take a deep breath... I asked why? She tells me that there is an area of Nodules... could be normal for me,to rule anything out they want additioenal pictures. I start to tear up, I know that I will be OK and even if I am not I will praise my FATHER, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 
Go into the room and proceed with the two additional pictures needed. Vicky tells me she has to put more pressure to get a better view, I wince in pain... Take a deep breath, and breath!!! A few minutes later.. We were done!!!
Vicky ask for me to wait as she gets these checked... Within 5 minutes she comes back and says I am all clear... It was nothing.
I praise GOD for that... But in that fleeting moment... There could have been. 
I don't say that lightly because though I do not have anything to worry about, I began to pray and think about ALL who have been effected by breast cancer and all cancer. It has imprinted on my heart and in my spirit to daily intercede for a world ravaged by this disease. 
My journey forward will be forever different in this life... In a moment... In a blink of an eye... LIFE CAN BE CHANGED!

To everyone who reads and shares this with anyone with cancer... You have someone who is praying for you and is sending you hugs of comfort and plenty of love to go forth on your journey.

With a humbled and thankful heart...
Tina

Eucharisteo

    Last week my friend and I started Ann Voskamp study, "1000 Gifts". It is on Eucharisteo ..Thanks!
Since beginning this study the day to day is not the same..what we see with physical eyes, there is more to it...the beauty of creation, the playfulness of our pets, the sound of a heart beat...these are GOD'S GIFTS...In it is HIS love for us!
In the picture above you see the other three words...each are from the root words in "Eucharisteo"...

Charis-Grace
Eucharisteo-Thanks
Chara-Joy

In one word we are given much and it turns back to GOD, for without HIM we would NEVER fully experience it! Grace, Thanks, Joy!! Simple three words and yet in our day to day routine we don't take time to enjoy GOD'S GIFTS. Each day you wake up its a gift...the creator has sustained you to experience another day, GOD'S LOVE is in abundance for us, will you take time to see it? To bask in it?

I really like what Ann shares about the 1000 gifts, She says,This dare to write down 1000 things I love, it really is a dare to name all the way GOD loves me, the true love dare!
How simple and beautiful is that?!! Do you know how much you are loved, how much OUR FATHER adores you right where you are at. 
If you are reading this and have not accepted JESUS as your savior, HE loves you and HE is waiting for you to accept HIM. Its really easy to do and you can do it right where you are it. I am going to share a simple prayer all you have to do is repeat it and mean it and you will be saved.

Dear Jesus,
Please forgive me for all my sins, cleanse me OH LORD, come into my heart, be LORD of my I surrender all to you, In JESUS name...AMEN!! 
(If you said that prayer..Praise GOD welcome to the family) Very important you get into a bible believing church where you can be discipled and grow in your new life as a Christian...I am so happy for you!

I want to end with this from Ann, its powerful in every season of life we go through...
In the silent times: Seek GOD
In the painful times: Praise GOD
In the terrible times: Trust GOD
At ALL times: Thank GOD 

Grace,Thanks,Joy..start your list of 1000 gifts today...please share what has been revealed, we are on this journey together will you celebrate..Eucharisteo...I sure am!!!! 

In CHRIST love and service,
Tina

 

Needing To Be Refilled

Over the pass few days I have been dealing with an emptiness that has me fighting a very strong emotional battle. As an encourager I am there for others to every capacity I can be. What happens when the encourager herself or himself gets depleted? It is what I am going through, you feel empty. I know GOD is always with ME and leaning on HIM is daily for me, I am relational and not having a close relationship to anyone where I can turn to be refilled, well its disheartening. 
Over the past couple of years I have been hurt, pushed away from those I thought were friends. Getting close to anyone to be honest has me guarded  I don't want to go through all the pain again. Yet I know I need someone who can be a mentor, a supporter and an encourager. 
I am married and my husband is my best friend and I am thankful for him, I can go to him with pretty much everything but there are those times when he is unable to fill  that need and right now that is where I am. 

Being in the dessert is not a place I like to be, it has been sometime since I have been here....I am seeking to be filled to overflowing.....Fill me LORD!!!! 

Matthew 7:7 
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Be blessed,
Tina